Key Principle
Word choice is the word-level implementation of the entire Smart Brevity system: reduce cognitive load, increase comprehension speed. The right word is not a stylistic upgrade — it is the mechanism of comprehension. As Mark Twain put it: "The difference between the almost right word and the right word... 'tis the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning." (Tips & Tricks chapter) A strong word is vivid, precise, and something you can see or touch. A weak word is abstract — you cannot form a picture of "process," "civics," or "paradigm."
Why This Matters
Abstract, inflated, or insider vocabulary forces extra decoding work. Concrete, short, physical words process faster, create mental images, and stick in memory. The causal chain is direct: abstract words require the reader to construct meaning from scratch, increasing cognitive load and dropout risk. Concrete words trigger instant mental images and faster processing.
The biggest enemy of clear writing is not ignorance of the subject — it is the impulse to perform sophistication through vocabulary. Both journalists (journalese) and business writers (jargon) fall into this trap from opposite directions. Writers often resist the purge because these words feel like expertise, but the reader experiences them as distance or fog. Simplicity reads as confidence; complexity reads as insecurity — the same dynamic as the Length-Equals-Depth Fallacy applied at the word level.
Good Examples
The Three-Category Word Purge targets three distinct failure modes, all caught by one heuristic — the Bar/Beach Test: "If you wouldn't say it at a bar or the beach, kill it." (Tips & Tricks chapter)
Fancy words ("spelling-bee words") signal disconnection, not expertise:
- avociferous → vocal; prevaricate → lie; didactic → preachy; conundrum → jam; salient → on-point; elucidate → explain
Journalese ("words no human would say") — vocabulary that exists only in writing, never in speech:
- discourse → talk; posit → assume; dearth → lack; obfuscate → hide; altercation → fight; disseminate → spread
Business jargon substitutes length for precision:
- "price point" → "price"; "core competency" → "skill"
The Paula LaRocque anecdote (writing coach, The Dallas Morning News) demonstrates the power of monosyllables: at a workshop she read a passage about a fish — evocative, specific, you could see it vividly. Nobody identified the key fact: every word was one syllable. "Never get 'retribution' if you can get 'revenge.'" (Strong Words chapter)
Counterpoints
Modal verbs as false caution: "Could," "may," "might" carry no information about what is actually happening. "Almost anything could happen" tells the reader nothing. Replace foggy modals with precise status verbs: planned, considered, discussed, feared, hoped, expected. Vagueness is not caution — it is the absence of communication.
Passive voice as distance: Passive constructions describe a state of affairs and obscure who is responsible. "The situation in Afghanistan continues to deteriorate from a security perspective" vs. "The Taliban captured Afghanistan." The formula is: Who — doing — what. "Tell me a story. Don't tell me about a story." (Strong Words chapter) Passive voice positions the writer as a distant observer; active voice puts the reader inside the action.
Linear sentence structure ignored: Interruptions — clauses, qualifiers, inversions — force the reader to hold partial information while parsing structure. "Smart, taut writing is linear, not twisty: Subject. Verb. Object." (Tips & Tricks chapter) Instead of: "With record temperatures besetting the West and South, and local highs nearing the triple digits, I'm going to avail myself of the nearby air conditioning" — say: "It's hot. I'm going inside."
Key Quotes
"The difference between the almost right word and the right word... 'tis the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning." — Mark Twain, cited by VandeHei, Allen & Schwartz, Tips & Tricks chapter
"You'd never call a banana an 'elongated yellow fruit.' Yet when we're writing, we do this all the time." — VandeHei, Allen & Schwartz, Tips & Tricks chapter
"Smart, taut writing is linear, not twisty: Subject. Verb. Object." — VandeHei, Allen & Schwartz, Tips & Tricks chapter
"Tell me a story. Don't tell me about a story." — VandeHei, Allen & Schwartz, Strong Words chapter
"Brevity nirvana is saying something with NO words." — VandeHei, Allen & Schwartz, Strong Words/Emojis chapter
"Jesus wept." — identified as the shortest, most powerful verse in the Bible: nine letters capturing earthly humanity, humility, and emotion. — VandeHei, Allen & Schwartz, Strong Words chapter
Rules of Thumb
- Apply the Bar/Beach Test to every draft: would you say this word in casual conversation? If no, kill it.
- Prefer one-syllable words over two, two over three — apply the One-Fewer-Syllable Test to every word in the opening sentence.
- Write Subject. Verb. Object. — eliminate clauses, qualifiers, and inversions.
- Replace every modal verb ("could," "may," "might") with a precise status verb that describes actual state.
- Use strong nouns (fire, cage, cliff) and strong verbs (chop, taunt, botch, crush) — words you can see or touch.
- Apply sentence hierarchy ruthlessly: "One sentence is better than two sentences is better than three. Be even more ruthless with your paragraphs." (Strong Words chapter)
- Use a single emoji sparingly to prime the reader's mental frame before text — brevity nirvana is saying something with no words at all.
Related References
- Headlines and the Lede — The Entry Points That Determine Everything - Where word-level discipline has the highest stakes: the headline and opening sentence
- Axioms, Go Deeper, and Formatting — Structure That Serves the Skimmer - Structural tools that complement word-level choices: bullets, bold, and the Axiom signpost